It's been so long since I've sat down to write a real blog. It feels uncomfortable. I don't even know what I want to say. Thirty minutes later...I'm still at a loss. Some thoughts this week:
1. Does being single at 27 mean I'm smart for
taking the time to learn who I am before saying I'll spend the rest of my life with someone? Not that those married already aren't smart, but for me, it took me awhile to understand my heart and decide on the kind of man I wanted to be with. Or does it mean I'm behind, missed my opportunity, or that I'm not the kind of girl a man wants to call his wife?
The beautiful thing is, we can. We are capable. We are the change
in the world, we are the reason laws will be changed and people will be helped. We are created with the potential to use our talents for the good of others. But we can't sit around and wait for that to happen through others, we need to be moved to action and do something.
I've been to two weddings in the past month. I went alone to both. Apparently that is not normal. Is my final goal in life to get married, have children and live a nice life? If so, I'm failing miserably. If not, then I am doing just fine. Guess I'll figure it out one day...hopefully.
2. What if we spent our entire lives searching for ourselves, researching "how-to" change the world, or getting stuck in the "I can't" mentality? What a sad world that would be.
A few weeks ago I got a new tattoo on the inside of my right forearm. I've debated this for awhile, what will people think, will they make fun of the simplicity of the obvious statement?
Maybe. Probably. And then I realized, this is my body and my decision. So I walked into a tattoo shop and 10 minutes later, I had new ink. I've been thinking about this lately because I think we can spend our whole lives trying to make a difference in the world just by "thinking" about it. We watch shows or people and wish we could do what they are doing for the poor, abused, or hungry.
in the world, we are the reason laws will be changed and people will be helped. We are created with the potential to use our talents for the good of others. But we can't sit around and wait for that to happen through others, we need to be moved to action and do something.
3. I'm at the age where I'm comfortable choosing to only call a select group of people in my life my "dearest friends." These people have shared hard times with me, laughed with me, probably fought with me, and have heard my secrets. I'm no longer looking to add to my Facebook friends list with names that mean nothing more than a number on my list. I accept the fact that not all people I have met or will meet will understand me.
But those who do stick around to find out and love me despite myself, those people I feel blessed to call "friend". Real friendship is so important to me because it frees me to open up and exercise honesty and vulnerability. For those of you who have seen my awkward, weird, and messy sides, thank you for continuing to journey through life with me.
So those are some things that
have kept me thinking this week. This weekend I'm in San Diego for the first time in 5 weekends. I can't wait to enjoy my city. Praying for sun and some acai!
Oh, beautiful girl. I loved reading this and the rawness it comes from.
ReplyDelete1) You ARE smart for being 27 and taking the time to learn who you are. Take it from pregnant at 20, married at 21 and mom by 21 and a quarter. I wouldn't change having my daughter for anything but if I knew then what I know now about relationships and love... I've been single for four years now and I mean SINGLE and while I know how it can be lonely and going to weddings alone is hard sometimes, know ultimately that you are making yourself the best partner for that special someone when he shows up.
2) That tattoo is perfect and so perfectly symbolic for what I know of you and who you are. You constantly inspire me and that tattoo is an amazing representation of that promise you've made yourself.
3) HOLLA.
Enjoy being home. Soak up the sun. And maybe, just maybe I'll see you in August if we make it down.
Jen you're so sweet! Thank you. Sorry you must have been reading through my many edits, my internet was being crazy. Thank you for your kind words and comments. <3
ReplyDeletegirl I'm on the same train you are
ReplyDeleteYou're doing fine. Enjoy your life for all the blessings of close friends family and fun opportunities. The right person comes with time, usually when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteThis has made me love you that much more! Your day will come when God plops some studly mustached tattooed man with a killer voice in your life. You are an awesome girl, with a beautiful heart, you will be locked down by some duder someday, it's inevitable ;) I love how you live your life now, with purpose and meaning. The lives you have touch in the small amount of time you have been on this earth is amazing. I am so excited to be your friend because I get to see your lovely life progress :)
ReplyDeleteYou are such a talented writer Nicole!!! I can envision you as a leader now and in the future. May God continue to bless you and always remember that you are not on this journey alone. You have people that love you dearly.
ReplyDelete